Audition Online --- These are real movies being cast RIGHT NOW! 


It is a post-apocalyptic world and you must make yourself noticed by the 3 rulers of the world, the ones who have the food, the ones who can take you into the tower for safety and comfort. You're a guy, you're a girl but you hear that the 3 rulers are all females.  You want to be noticed by them AND you have to get by Big Bertha.
She's the one who decides if you're worthy of going up into the tower.  Your audition tapes will be like a job interview or a save me for this reason interview in spite of the fact that you have no idea what makes some people acceptable to Bertha and the 3 Rulers.  Assume that Bertha has very little power and that the Rulers watch the interviews to make choices of who to bring up.  Please post on You Tube (so no nudity) and we'll decide which ones to feature here for voting and decision-making about who gets the role in the movie. You must be over 18
                                                       BIG B
(in front of a group of
starving refugees -
You can all kiss my ass. I’m going
to sit down and have some water
until you all calm down. All right,
I don’t have any water either, but
I’m still better than you losers. I
got this job. I get regular food
and water. But... You think I get
paid enough to talk over your
whines and moans and shit? I’m not
your mama. That’s rule one. I’m
not your mama. Your mamas left you
to DIE. They didn’t care enough
about you to prepare you for the
big bad world. They didn’t make
the world into a place where you
could work and play. They sucked.
Can I get a little chorus, here, of
“my mama sucked?”-- Oh, THAT shut
you up, huh? Not enough strength
to yell out from your desperate
hovel, or are you quiet now because
you’re actually still in love with
your crack-headed, full of hope as
long as she’s full of dope,
dreaming that the lights will stay
on when there’s no one to pay the
bills, “I don’t care about money as
long as I FEEL good” What have you
done for me lately”, “and when I
DON’T feel good I’ll do ANYTHING to
get some medicine”, “do I look
fat?” “Got no place in my heart
for anyone but me”, “ What do you
mean, ‘get down on my knees?’ I
thought I was running the world”,
screwed over any dog that would lay
with me, dead and gone cunt of a
woman;-- Dead and gone because she
got slaughtered like feed stock,
couldn’t do the math, couldn’t keep
a job, couldn’t understand the
responsibilities of citizenship and
the cost of freedom, silly, little
bitch of a mama? You still have
tears for the whore who left you
here? The one who sold you into
indentured slavery? The one who
didn’t care enough to change the
world? How can you be?
How can you love a lady you can
hardly remember? You belong to ME
now. You belong to Big B! You
should all worship ME. Let’s see a
little idolatry here. Let’s here
the whispers of your awe and
passion for me, Big B, the only one
you’re ALLOWED to love. The only
legal love you can have. I AM BIG
B!!!! I want to hear how much you
love me! Nothing, huh? You’ll
learn. Time will come when you
understand, and you’ll be GRATEFUL
that I kept you alive this long.
You’ll learn to appreciate me.
That’s right. But I’m not your
mama. That’s rule number one. Big
B is not... your ... Mama.
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